Month: April 2024
I know you wouldn’t believe if I told you that spending too much time with your partner would hurt the relationship. People have the conventional belief that spending more time together helps to understand each other better. However, they do not know that all of us are actually individuals who need personal space.
It is important to learn how to achieve the balance between US (needs of relationship) and ME (individual needs). A simple equation can explain this:
“ME + ME = US”
Too much “ME” can result in you and your partner drifting apart, while too much “US” can stifle your partner, causing resentment and undesirable conflicts.
You must learn to achieve an equilibrium of family, friends, love, work and self. How can you maintain your individuality?
1. Go and take part in an activity which you can enjoy even if you are alone. Take up some courses which interest you such as surf boarding, yoga or dance classes. After sometime, you will discover that you are a much happier person with more private time for yourself. This is because you have actually learned new skills and this is part of self-growth.
2. Try hanging out more frequently with your best friends. Give your friends some updates on your life. It will be easier for your friends to accept your partner into your social circle this way.
3. Try spending the weekends with your families. Take the initiative to visit your family if you are not living together with them and bring them out for a picnic or dinner.
How much “ME” time you need depends on what you and your partner are comfortable with. For example, some couples seem to do well spending every waking moment together.
You can take a look at the following tips to understand the amount of “ME” time you need.
1. Communicate with your partner and discuss the amount of time both of you would like to spend together each week. Discuss with your partner and once both of you are agreeable, stick to the consensus.
2. You need to recognize that your partner has other commitments outside your relationship. Grant your partner more individual space if necessary. Each individual needs space and time for self-growth.
3. Trust your partner and be confident with yourself. Never think that your partner will mess around with the private time that you have freed up for him/her.
If you decide to grant each other some private time, you should be prepared to trust your partner.
It might be loving to spend time together, but you need to remember that all of us need space to do our own stuff too.
Your world should never revolve around one person or relationship!
For many years, the concept of being flogged, humiliated, and whipped has long been associated with punishment and suffering. To be demeaned in this manner was unacceptable for most people, creating a social stigma that stands to this day. The stigma is so strong that people who want to go through that sort of treatment willingly were seen as having had their mental health compromised. In some circles, it can also be considered a sign of poor sexual health. However, according to more recent findings, neither mental nor sexual health are compromised by a desire to be bound and dominated. The Sadism and Masochism (S&M) community are not a group of deviants with poor mental health, but simply one that has tastes that vary from the norm.
In some ways, it allows people to be able to better connect to a side of themselves that has been suppressed. For example, one woman who enjoyed choking her partner during orgasm had a childhood of suppressing emotions and feelings. She had grown up psychologically suppressing things like sexual desire and her own need for a meaningful relationship. While she had outgrown most of it by adulthood, she remained partially detached from the act of intercourse, leaving her to regard the activity as bland and unexciting. It was only when she discovered the psychological “high” she got from choking her partner that she started to enjoy sex. Her psychologist believes that the act of choking someone has helped her bridge the mental gap between her desires and her personality, allowing her to temporarily let go of her inhibitions.
Some psychologists have also come to believe that S&M may also be connected to stress relief and escapism. In general, members of the S&M community engage in role-playing during sessions, with a person who usually appears as a timid librarian being a foul-mouthed, whip-toting dominatrix in her basement. This role-playing temporarily grants them a reprieve from the nature of their lives, giving them a much needed escape from the stress and anxiety of the modern world. The nature of the activity makes it such that the people involved focus only on each other and the raw physical sensations of the acts, allowing them a short amount of time to get away from whatever it is they feel a need to get away from. While this may not explain the reasons for the entire S&M community, it may explain some of the motivations behind this behavior.
It should be noted that the S&M community is a separate group from people who have sexual sadism. The core difference is that S&M practitioners are perfectly sane individuals who simply enjoy playing roles that they would not be expected to in their everyday lives. Activities for them are consensual and there is a complex web of unspoken rituals and unwritten rules that prevent either participant from inflicting permanent or serious harm upon one another. In contrast, sexual sadism is often non-consensual and, by the very nature of the activities, is designed to inflict as much harm as possible for as long as possible. There are some circles that believe sexual sadists are the reason why the S&M community normally shuns the terms sadist and masochist, preferring to avoid the negative psychological connotation.
One benefit that accepting S&M as a part of someone’s private life has had is an enhancement of one’s sex life. People who have come to accept it and have found partners who welcome it have reported that their sex lives have improved, as well as their emotional connection to one another. They report that there is a deeper sense of connection and understanding, likely due to the openness needed for both partners to accept such “unusual” tastes.
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If you have found yourself in a Scorpio relationship you better be prepared to be brave. Dont get me wrong, Scorpios are very loyal and can make wonderful companions, but in the heat of things when times might be tough you may end up being the one who gets fiercely stung.
Scorpios love to be the one controlling their environment and are the take charge kind
of person in any relationship. So you have to be tough and not give in on everything they want. You must understand a Scorpio’s nature and then you will know why they seem to want to take the lead with everything that is going on.
This does not mean you cant feel the need to ever take charge of anything. You will need to bravely express yourself when you want to do so. In this way you will actually win your Scorpio’s admiration, because aside from being natural leaders themselves, they also love it when someone else shows moxie and drive. Scorpios may want to take over everything but they lack determination and toughness many times. Show that and you can get on their good side.
Scorpios are attracted to a challenge, so it is wise for you to play hard to get sometimes. Just dont go overboard as they may eventually think you are not interested in them, and that would be a turnoff for them.
You dont want to heat things up too much in a relationship with a Scorpio, but you do want to keep it interesting enough to keep them excited. Assert yourself at times but not overly so. Scorpios are not necessarily aggressive so they like to win people over by diplomatic means more often. If you are too resistant to them too often, it will cause an argumentative relationship.
On a positive side Scorpios are usually generous partners and good loyal companions. They may even be slow to temper. But this sign of the sun person will get madly temperamental if pushed too long. It will not be a pretty sight when a Scorpio finally does get angry. They may seethe beneath their skin for a long time.
Some, but not many, Scorpios are of the forgiving type. This means if you mess up your relationship with them they most likely will hold a grudge for along time, if not forever. After a breakup if you were to talk to them again they usually will bring up all the wrong things you did that ended the relationship. You will feel like the entire breakup was your fault. Scorpios usually find it hard to forget and forgive.
One frustrating Scorpio tendency that you may encounter is this. They may be stomping around angry and you may have no clue what is wrong. When you ask what the problem is they may respond, “Can’t you figure it out?” This is just them assuming you know what has been on their mind.
If you have broken up with a Scorpio but manage to win him or her back you should keep in mind their personality. A Scorpio will assume you should be able to read their thoughts in every situation. Keep that in mind, and all the things in this article, when dealing with them if you want the relationship to work.
The only way to make things easier in this relationship situation is to let your Scorpio partner know that they need to communicate better when something is on their mind. Let them know you are not a mind reader. On your part you will have to be a very good listener and observer. You’ll need the ability to second-guess potential problems. If your Scorpio is not willing to work with you in your relationship it will be hard to get it to work out in the long run.