Month: May 2023
Some people, after a couple of months or years of being together, tend to get bored with the relationship. This is a very crucial step in a because it is one of the most common beak up reason. Boredom.
What if your partner loses interest in you? How do you save your relationship from being eaten away by dullness? Here are some tips:
1.Give your partner some space. A change of atmosphere, environment, or company would help a lot. Go on a vacation alone or visit your parents. Let your partner hang out with his/her friends. Giving your partner a space would make him/her re-realize your worth. While doing that, take the opportunity to give yourself a break. Go out. Shop. So that when you get back to each other, you both feel refreshed and happy.
2.Have a makeover. Maybe your partner is getting bored with how you look. He/She must have loved you for what you are, but changing looks adds more excitement to the relationship. It is one of those surprises that would certainly catch him/her off guard and notice you once again.
3.Do not nag. Do not ask where your partner is going after work or what he/she is doing. Do not call up just to check on your partner. Nothing is more irritating than having somebody track your every move. This shows that you do not trust your partner. Trust is one of the main ingredients to a lasting relationship. Without it, any relationship wont work.
4.Try new things. New dishes, new house design, new activities. Novelty adds spice to a boring relationship. You can get new ideas from magazines, forums, chat lines and articles. Try something new every other day or once every week. This would keep your partner guessing what you would be up to next time.
5.Be sensitive. Talk with him. You partner might have some problems but you just do not realize it. Communication is important in a relationship because it opens doors for analysis, improvement and understanding. Let him/her know that you are always ready to listen and help them in any way.
6.Always smile. Nothing brightens up the day than a simple smile. Smile is contagious. Even if your partner feels gloomy, he/she will lighten up when you smile.
7.Show your partner how much you love him/her. You do not have to go to the extent of buying special gifts or giving expensive vacation treats. You can show your love in little ways. Give your partner a back rub after work. Or offer to wash his/her car. Cook his/her favorite food. Scrub his/her back. These little things show that you still care.
If all these fail, then maybe you are not really meant for each other. Keeping a relationship strong takes effort and strategy. You need to have your relationship planned out if you want it work. You should know what to do if a certain instance happens or a problem occurs. But the effort must come from both sides. It just aint worth it if you’re the only one saving the boat. In that case, let go. It means that he/she’s already lost interest. Try again, and make sure it works this time.
Distancing is for the most part has been look upon as a thing that men do all their lives and have not been seen to be with women also.
Perceptions
Focusing only on good sex is not enough as some people thought will keep the relationship together.
Having good communication is not the magic bullet either.
Because your partner is from different planet you have to accept it will be lonely is another of the myths.
Stepping away emotionally
Do you notice that you are constant being ask to help out with friends and activities outside the home?
Do you find it is difficult for you to connect to your partner when it is time for you to be intimate and you use some excuse to blame such as no time, the dog, the children, the extended family needs you?
Do you fine it difficult for you to open up emotionally when you need to put time into your relationship because you have shut down?
Give and receive
You may feel the desire to have a close relationship in which you can give and receive comfort but have difficulty in sticking with it.
You my find yourself as a giver because it comes easy to you or you may see yourself as a receiver and it is difficult to take the action to give so you wait for others to give to implicate themselves before you take that step in opening.
You may find that you demand proof that your partner love you and you may feel honor to receive this love but afraid to open and give back so you rather break up the relationship before the person hurt you or demand of you more than you are willing to give.
No time for partner
If you find yourself with no time to give to your partner because you are so busy with your children it maybe your way of distancing so you do not become too intimate this sometimes creates a gap in the relationship that is sometimes difficult to repair.
Parenting
Both parents are so taken up about parenting that they forget about making time to spend together only to realize that they have drifted apart and it is difficult for them to come back together.
Taking risk in sharing feelings
You may be afraid of emotional commitment and the vulnerability when you have to open up and share with your mate because this asks of you to risk sharing your feelings.
Letting go of being in control
If you find yourself wanting always to be in control and it comes from fear of letting go, you are not sure if you did let go things will get done.
Setting boundaries
When you take the set boundaries you give your self time to be with you.
With boundaries you respect yourself and others of how much you can and able to give.
Overcoming fears
Overcoming your fears is a process that you will go through when you decide to get help and support with loving people around you.
The first part of this healing is to learn to trust in yourself knowing that you brought you to a place within you to be awaken and to remove the blockages that you have been carrying around for a long time and has stop you to live the life you want.
Conclusion: When you or your partner distance yourself in the relationship know that it is a way for you to protect yourself and you can learn others ways to feel secure while being vulnerable.
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While some people can immediately identify a person with whom they would never be compatible, many suffer from low self-esteem and end up changing their own personalities, wants and actions to fit their partner. It is true that almost any successful relationship requires a certain amount of flexibility and compromise; but if a person is required to alter themselves greatly in order to maintain the relationship often something is wrong. The changes that occur in many of these cases can be so subtle and over such a great length of time, that often the people changing are unaware of how different they have become.
In order to understand how a person can be involved in such a relationship, it is important to remember that many of the people who experience this had a problem before the relationship began:
Insecurity: Many people in our society suffer from one form of insecurity or another; abnormal physical traits; lack of proper education; difficulty with communication and poor support network are just a few of the causes of such feelings. In order to have a strong enough sense of self that a person would never allow themselves to be overhauled by another person they must, for the most part, like who they are. The image that many people have of themselves is a very poor one and this makes it easy for others to prey upon their weakness. Unfortunately, in many cases, the addition of a stronger partner allows the more insecure person to hang all of their self esteem on the fact that their partner would have them; this is not a healthy way to depend on another person for support and in most cases will lead to disaster as it does not usually help to create strength and confidence.
Psychological Damage: A problem that often stems from an abusive relationship, a damaged psyche makes for an excellent weakness for others to prey on. We have heard this referenced many times in society by referring to the ugly duckling syndrome i.e. a person who once thought of them self as unattractive and became so used to dealing with this poor self image that when they became more attractive, by society’s standards, they did not act in the normal way an attractive person would. This by many people’s definition is an attractive person who retains a poor self image; therefore the person will have lower standards when it comes to dating. Many different types of trauma can cause a person to feel unworthy of attention and react in an unhealthy way when it received; this makes a perfect breeding ground for people who are looking for a person that they can control in a relationship; because they lack the self esteem to refuse.
Not all one-sided relationships are obvious or extreme, in fact more often the problems are numerous but very subtle. This can create an underlying feeling that something is wrong with the relationship, though many people struggle to understand exactly what that problem is. There are a few large and regular parts of relationships that are reoccurring and therefore when dominated can create an ongoing problem:
Where you live: In relationships where one person is dominant evidence of this imbalance can be seen in the home they share. The more dominant person will often choose everything from wall paint to major appliances; none of which seem to reflect the weaker person’s personality. To assume that dcor is an indication of such a relationship would not be completely accurate as in some cases one person does not have strong feelings about their belongings; however even those with little or no interest often have some reflection of their personality in their home.
What you do: Often in a one-sided relationship most or all of the activities the couple participates in revolve around one person. This allows for even greater destruction of the original, weaker partner and ultimately a great path to depression. Enduring this kind of change is difficult because not only does the weaker partner watch their own interests dissolve; but often they do not feel as close to the person they love as they cannot share their true desires with them.
Conversation: Whether you’re out with friends or staying at home in a relationship of this kind one partner rarely communicates what they are thinking or feeling. Often friends or relatives will notice when these changes occur because they can see a person retreating not just into themselves, but into their partner’s thoughts and feelings. Often the weaker partner will only speak when discussing issues that their partner finds interesting, giving up entirely on what they once find enjoyable or exciting.
If you have felt that any of these situations apply to your own relationship review this quick checklist to see some of the most typical points of view from those who observe this kind of behavior:
1.I always or often speak only about the things my partner is interested in.
2.I always or often only talk about my partner.
3.All or most of the things I do for fun I do with my partner.
4.All or most of things I do for fun are because of my partner.
5.If I look around my home I see little or no sign of my own taste.
6.When spending money on frivolous items they are usually for my partner.
7.My partner does most of the talking when we are together.
8.I do not often tell my partner how I feel.
9.My partner does not usually notice when something is bothering me.
10.My partner never or does not often compliment me.
11.I never feel happy/I only feel happy when my partner is giving me attention.
12.I have little or no interests outside of my relationship.
13.My partner does not often or never gives me gifts that are only for me.
14.My friends and/or family think that I have changed a lot since entering my relationship for the worse.
15.My other relationships have weakened since entering the one with my partner.
16.When asked what I want I usually look at my partner.
17.I no longer resemble who I was when I met my partner.
18.I tend to think of my partner before I ever think of myself.
19.I dress in the way my partner prefers even if I do not.
20.I no longer know what makes me, me.
If you find that any of these statements are true it might be a sign that either you need change your relationship, or you need to break it off. Enduring this kind of life is not healthy nor does it have much of a chance of making you happy. It is possible that your partner did not mean to become the dominant presence in your relationship and if brought to their attention they might be eager to help you become a stronger person. There are many different ways in which a person who finds themselves in this situation can change things, try to figure out what works best for you and take the necessary steps to make your life better.
Trust those who know you best: Outside of your relationship it is good to have at least one person with whom you can be honest and trust completely. Asking this person how they view your relationship and the changes that have occurred during the time you’ve been in it can be an excellent way to gain the insight required for change.
Perfection Reflection: Write down what you believe the basics are for an ideal relationship and see how they compare with your current one. Though no relationship is perfect and they often take a great deal of work, this should be equally divided amongst both people, not hoisted onto one.
Self Image: Begin an activity or project that has nothing to do with your partner, but is something that you are interested in. As this interest grows in something outside of your relationship you might find a little of the old you returns. Learn to like who you are and the wonderful qualities that make you unique; this may be difficult at first and might even require some changing (again,) but in the end you must be able to like yourself if you hope to remain who are.
Speak with your partner about how you feel: Whether or not you believe you can make your relationship work it is often helpful to tell your partner how you feel about the situation. Though you might not find the support you hoped for it is advisable to know where you partner stands on making you happy. Give your partner the opportunity to help you feel better about yourself and your relationship, or the very least know that they are a large part of how you ended up feeling the way that you do.
Without taking steps to reconstruct yourself in happier, healthier way you may never be able to enjoy life in or out of your relationship. Though it can be difficult to muster the courage to change your life, the knowledge that a happier you could exist might give you the strength need to take action. Good luck and much strength to all of you who are brave enough to take on the challenge.
Cheating is something that shakes relationships that are in any stage. Whether your relationship has lasted for many years or you are just in the initial stages, cheating can easily bring a lot of ‘bad blood’ between you. Although dealing with affairs can be quite challenging, you do not have to let it bring down your relationship.
Cheating is very damaging because it hits at the foundation of a relationship – trust. Cheating is a betrayal of trust irrespective of the stage at which your relationship is. While people usually think of marriage when speaking about cheating, trust is something that develops before you make the commitment. If a partner cheats before marriage, it will still be a mark of betrayal of trust.
Whether you are married or not, cheating can still take place. Does what you do feel as if you are not honest with your partner? If you feel that you need to keep what is going on from your partner then you are effectively cheating.
Whatever the case, you should understand that it is only you and your partner who can decide whether you want to strengthen your relationship or part ways. This means that you will need to discuss the issue and reach a solution that you both agree on. Maintaining a stony silence will not magically make the problem disappear, and none of you will feel any better.
If you want to deal with cheating before marriage, here are some of the measures that you should consider.
Make a decision one way or the other
It will understandably be difficult to deal with cheating, even more so if your relationship has been around for quite some time. You will need to decide whether you want to end the relationship or go on and develop a stronger bond. When cheating occurs before marriage, you can use this as a stepping stone toward building a stronger relationship. You may decide to make a stronger commitment that will make your relationship have more official grounds. This form of commitment does not necessarily have to be marriage, but it should at least be formal.
Have time for your partner
We live in a busy world where people have hectic schedules. You may be so busy with other commitments that you push your relationship to the background. You may leave just leftover time for your partner, which will strain your relationship. You should include your partner in your itinerary, scheduling time for just the two of you. When you spend quality time together, neither of you will have the time to contemplate another relationship.